CITRIC DUMMIES - Trapped In A Parking Garage 7"EP

Highly recommended.

Jeff Goldblum takes a deep breath and initiates the teleportation sequence, unaware that lurking in the corner of the telepod are three greasy eighth grade boys quoting their favorite lines from Kids In The Hall sketches. The sequence initiates; a crack of static; a horrible flash of white hot light. Dramatically backlit and shrouded in fog, what emerges from the adjacent telepod is not so much man-child as teenage lobotomy. The camera jumps to a tight shot on the receding hairlines of three dumb assholes: “Look out world…” they whisper with an off-putting wink into the camera. “I’m eatin’ Arby’s.”

This is the CITRIC DUMMIES and that is a reference to their song lyrics! Yes, you do not have to ask: this shit is dumb. Lyrics like “I'm driving a piece of shit because I am a piece of shit” dumb. I hear fear in their voices: this is both a reference to Lee Ving’s phlegm and the fact this band is naked and lost in a parking garage, “A traffic cone used for modesty (It’s not a giant orange dick, you see)”. But unlike FEAR, this band does not hate you, for they are too busy hating themselves. “Fuck you!” you yell at them, and they know why.